Should A Parent email or call College Coaches?
If you’re the parent of a high school athlete, you want to help. You want to support your child’s goals and make sure they don’t miss any opportunities. So when it comes to the college recruiting process, you might wonder if you should be the one to contact college coaches on your athlete’s behalf.
It’s a fair question.
But the answer is simple.
No, parents should not contact college coaches for their athlete.
That doesn’t mean parents have no role in recruiting. It just means the communication with coaches should come directly from the athlete. Here's why that matters.
Coaches Want to Hear from the Athlete
When a coach gets an email, call, or message from a parent instead of the athlete, they pay attention to what’s missing. They wonder why the student didn’t reach out on their own. It’s not that they don’t want parents involved. It’s that they need to know the athlete is personally interested in the school and ready to handle the demands of competing at a whole new level of athletics.
Coaches are looking for athletes who are:
Motivated
Organized
Able to communicate
Excited about their program
When an athlete contacts a coach directly, it shows all of those things. It proves that the student is serious and taking charge of their future.
Parents Can Still Play a Big Role
Even though parents shouldn’t be the ones emailing or calling coaches, they still have an important part to play. Many recruiting services, charge families thousands of dollars. At less than $100 per year, RecruitReach is an affordable investment parents can make to help support their kids leading the process on their own.
Here’s how parents can help without taking over the process:
Create a RecruitReach profile for your athlete
Help the athlete think through what’s important in school choices
Help keep track of deadlines and events
Encourage your athlete to stay on top of communication
Drive them to visits, camps, and showcases
The key is to support your athlete, not speak for them.
Think of it this way. College sports are a big commitment. Coaches want to see that your child can handle life on their own. If parents are doing all the talking, coaches start to wonder if the athlete will be able to manage their schedule, handle tough conversations, or speak up when they need help.
What Coaches Think When Parents Do the Talking
When a parent reaches out first, coaches don’t see it as helpful. They see it as a red flag. It doesn’t matter how well-meaning the message is. If it’s not coming from the athlete, the coach may move on to someone else.
Here are a few thoughts that may go through a coach’s mind:
Does the athlete actually want to play here?
Will this student be independent on campus?
Will the parent be too involved in everything?
Can the athlete handle pressure on their own?
That’s not the impression you want to make. Instead, your athlete should be the one leading the process while you cheer them on and help them stay focused.
Let Your Athlete Take the Lead
The best way to help your child stand out is to let them take the lead. That means they should be the ones writing emails, filling out forms, and asking questions during visits. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s one of the best ways for them to grow.
If your child is nervous, practice with them. Sit down and use RecruitReach with them, but don’t send emails for them. Role-play a phone call with a coach, but don’t make the call yourself. Give advice, but let your athlete press send.
The Bottom Line
Parents should not contact college coaches on their athlete’s behalf. Coaches want to see that a student is interested, mature, and able to act on their own.
That doesn’t mean parents should step away completely. It just means you should help behind the scenes, not from the front.
Support your athlete. Guide them. Encourage them.
But let them be the one to speak.
